This Child That You Deliver

Earlier this Christmas season as I began to listen to the holiday music, I was struck by a line in the song "Merry Christmas Mary", which was often sung by the select choir at my high school.

Excerpt : 

Joseph was tired, they'd been traveling all day

and it was almost midnight before they found a place to stay.

He put the burro in the stall, and knelt beside his wife

to comfort her as she went through the pains of giving life. 

I don't know if it is because Tyler is our last or if it is because he is simply the youngest baby we have had at Christmas time. But I have been truly struck by the actual event, or birth, of the Savior and the time shortly following his birth. As a mother to four, I have many worries about them, and they started during pregnancy- before they were even out. I want to raise them right. I want them to be good people. I want them to be kind. I want them to have the strength to resist temptations. I want them to KNOW that Heavenly Father and their Savior Jesus Christ loves them. 

As I ponder on the events leading up to the Savior's birth, I can scarcely imagine the weight that Mary felt upon herself, knowing that she would be bearing and raising the Lord, our King. HER King. And yet she had the greatest faith to respond to the angel Gabriel's declaration, "Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word." Oh but if I could have faith such as that! 

Fast forward 9 months. Mary is preparing to give birth. I love how in the scriptures in Luke 6 it states "the days were accomplished that she should be delivered." If you have been pregnant before, you know that pregnancy is no easy ride. But as bad as that is, labor can be incredibly uncomfortable and painful. Much more so than any of the discomforts of the prior 9 months. Mary was about to experience those "pains of giving life." 

I labored with each of my children naturally, foregoing the pain medications. To get through contractions, one of the things I thought of most was that all of the pain was going to be worth it for the end result, that ANY amount of pain would be worth it to achieve that end result, that culmination for all the discomforts and pains of the past 9 months. A beautiful new life. 

I cannot describe the joy and relief when it is over. I cannot describe the penetration of the Spirit of the Lord into your heart as a new mother or father (or new again) as you welcome your precious baby to the Earth, to begin their mortal life. 

Can you imagine the joy felt in that dim manger on that Christmas night as the babe Jesus entered into the world? 

As I continue to listen to my playlist of Christmas music, I hear yet another song which had been oft sung by my high school choir. This song recently made it's way into popular music by Pentatonix. 

Excerpt : 

Mary did you know, that your baby boy has come to make you new?

This child that you deliver, will soon deliver you.

According to the scriptures, Mary was "delivered". But because of the Savior's birth she was also delivered. 

The more I think upon the birth of my Savior, the more I appreciate and love Him. The more I realize just how incomprehensible His sacrifice was. The more I realize His love for me. When HE suffered, to an extent I know not, and endured the pain, and would endure ANY amount of pain, to achieve that end result. The doors being opened for the eternal life of man. 

Glory be to God for the birth of our Savior!

I know that He was conceived and born of Mary, and that he lived a perfect life. That He lived so that we may live. I pray that as we celebrate the season we will take time to step back and reflect, and marvel upon the event which we truly celebrate. 

Love, Christine 

Pruning

Today I committed murder ... crepe murder, that is.

For some reason, our family has seemed to have gotten hit with a lot of different, constant sicknesses this fall. Someone jokingly told me "Well I guess that's what you get with four kids!" In a way I'm sure it holds a level of truth! But to be honest, I hope it doesn't! Because I certainly get sick of being sick.

The transition to four kids has been the hardest for me. I think that it has been the hardest due to circumstance. I have always added a baby to the family without kids in school, and now I have two in school and at different schools at that. I have thankfully been incredibly blessed with angel friends who help by taking B along with their daughters to school so I only have to drive to/from school 3 times rather than 4 per day. But regardless, for whatever reason, it has just been the most difficult.

For the past several weeks in particular I have found myself getting completely run down. I have been sick, not sick enough to be a big deal, but the kind of sick when you feel crummy enough that you're exhausted. A sign that your body is telling you to rest, right? Well my husband would agree. I should be going to bed early. But the thing is, when my kids are finally in bed for the night that's mom time. Time where I can get housework done without neglecting the time of my littles and also have time just for myself to do what I want to do. Unfortunately lack of sleep led to emotional and spiritual stunting. I was more impatient with my children - grumpy mom came out a LOT more. The prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, has challenged the women of the church to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year. I have been taking that challenge. But lately my physical and emotional lack has led to a lack of the ability to feel the spirit. I know I could be getting more from my scripture studies. I have never been so run down perhaps in my whole life. And it snuck up on me slowly. This complete running out of steam came to a head for me recently and ended with me crying over the fact that really I just want to be super mom and to have time for ALL the things, every day.

I have done a lot of yard work in the last 6 months. From cutting down diseased bushes to cutting back huge trees, to pruning crepe myrtles.

I had never really paid much attention to crepe myrtles as a tree until we lived here. We have several in our backyard and so now I notice their presence wherever we go. They are beautiful and flower in the spring - in colors that come in purples, reds, and whites. Unfortunately when our house was built, I can tell that the landscaper perhaps didn't adequately consider the growth of the plants chosen over time. We have full sun plant in full shade and vice versa.

Because of the great growth of nearby trees and lack of past pruning, our crepe myrtles had grown very awkwardly - they were very tall and skinny with the leaves and blooms only being on the very tops of the branches where they could reach the sun. In order to compensate for this, I have been correcting problems by trimming, cutting, and pruning.

As I was pruning the crepe myrtles, I couldn't help but thinking about how much these were like my own life. Because of circumstance, these trees were trying so hard to put their energy into blooms and growth but needed the sun. Yes they were full sized, but were not growing to their full beauty and potential. They need this pruning to start over, cut out the unnecessary branches so they can redistribute their energy into the branches that will be the strongest and beautify the tree.

At the time of my breakdown, my loving husband talked to me about how sometimes it's just not possible or best to do everything, especially when it comes at the cost of nothing getting my fullest potential because I'm stretched so thin. I cannot lift others when I am below them. So now it is time to regroup and redirect. Focus on what matters most.

It is time for a pruning.

What do you need to prune in your life?

love, Christine