When KC and I got married, I didn't want to start having kids until I was at least 27. I had never really babysat growing up, and I didn't have much experience with kids at all. It's safe to say when we knew it was time to have kids, and I was pregnant with Dia, I was terrified. I didn't think I was ready to be a mom and more than once I wondered if maybe we had made a mistake.
When she joined our family, I knew immediately Heavenly Father had blessed me an instinct for motherhood. Diving into caring and loving for her came easily. Of course it doesn't hurt that she is easy to love.
It has been the pleasure of my life to watch her grow, learn, and develop in each stage. I have observed her not only give up the limelight of being an only child, but also her selfless service to her siblings. I have seen her personality bloom. I have seen her in her most pained moments when she is still trying to be brave. I have tried to teach her in her moments of frustration when she doesn't understand. I have watched her as she lights up when she does. She is truly beautiful on the outside as well as a beautiful soul on the inside. I am constantly amazed by her desire to be helpful, her capacity to love, and her never-ending inquisitiveness. There is no doubt that she brings greater beauty to the tapestry of our family.
This year is a milestone year as she is now eligible to be baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This is a choice that we have talked with her about often and how it needs to be her decision, and hers alone. She has zealously accepted to commit to this covenant. Unfortunately with COVID-19 her baptism is postponed for now.
She also learned how to ride her bike without training wheels recently. I have grappled with letting her ride to the park and back (just a few blocks away). Although none of the other children on the street have this privilege, I am finding myself trying to figure out the concept of independence; when are children old enough and mature enough to be given levels of responsibility and independence. Because I realize I cannot hold onto her forever.
The concept of independence, and of letting go, is hard. And I know that it's not ever going to get easier. Not even when she is grown and gone from our home. As we celebrate another year older for the girl who made me a mommy though, I do look forward to what her future holds, because I truly believe it's going to be bright, and I feel privileged to be an observer and part of it. Happy Birthday to my precious girl.
Love, Mommy
