God is Not Here

This year, our church has made some big changes. We used to go to church for 3 hours on Sundays. They have now consolidated the time to 2 hours. However, there is a new curriculum they have introduced called "Come Follow Me". Each family or individual is given a manual which is a guide on what can/should be studied within a calendar week. The lessons given on Sundays in church also correspond with those studies to create a rounded experience. The goal is to bring our discipleship into a home based, church supported one rather than one in which we rely on our church time to fulfill our spiritual needs for the entire week.

I was incredibly gung-ho about the new curriculum and was so excited to start it. I looked forward to becoming more like my Savior - and a much better disciple of him. I looked forward to including my children in the curriculum and doing nightly scripture study and gospel discussion. I did great for the first week in January. I have done horribly since then - next to nothing. Over the last week or so I have really noticed my ability to feel the spirit starting to slip. It was not hard to see that it was because I wasn't doing what I should be doing, even some of those small daily things such as prayer.

This morning as I knelt at my bedside for the first time in a few weeks, my daughter came in to get ready. The following conversation occurred:

"What are you doing?" She asked quizzically.
I answered "I'm praying."
She said "But God isn't here."

I cannot lie. My heart sank at her answer. My most treasured possession is the gospel of Jesus Christ. It has taken me on the paths I have gone on in my life. It has shaped me into who I am today. More than anything I would love to share with my children His love and help them understand His plan for them so they will know this for themselves. In that moment I really felt like I was failing.

On the other hand I also felt guilty for how long it had been since I had spoken to my Father in Heaven. Does he listen? Does he care? Even when I have treated Him like I don't care? I am so grateful to know without a doubt in my heart that He DOES care. That He will ALWAYS care. That no matter how far off the path I've gotten, the moment I turn back, He's there, waiting for me.

In 3 separate instances in Isaiah, the words are spoken, "For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still." (See Isaiah 5:25, 9:21, and 10:4)

My children don't always make the choices I want them to make. And sometimes it is frustrating. But my love never dissipates. As soon as they are ready, I'm there with a snuggle and a kiss and advice on how we can handle things better next time.

How grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who does the same. Who loves me with more love than I can comprehend, even when I continue to stray off the path.

This morning after my daughter's comment, I knew it was a teaching moment. The conversation continued:

"Sweetie, Heavenly Father is everywhere. All the time."
"But He's in heaven"
"Right. But He still hears us no matter where we are, no matter what time it is."
"Even in Africa?"
"Yes, even in Africa"

A Child's Prayer (vs. 2)
"Pray, He is there. Speak. He is listening. You are His child. His love now surrounds you.
He hears your prayer. He loves [His] children. Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven."