General Conference Activities - October 2019

General Conference has really snuck up on me this year! I can't believe we're a mere 2 days away! I'm looking forward to hearing what the Lord has inspired His prophet and apostles to say. In my preparations, I've created & modified a few activities for the kids that I've found on lds.org. You can download them yourself if you'd like by clicking the links.

MATCHING GAME 

Download backs HERE.
Download fronts HERE.

PROPHET AND APOSTLES COLORING PAGES/NOTES

The original coloring pages for these are found on the church's website - see them here. 
I have modified these pages to include names and a place for notes.

Download HERE.

CONFERENCE BINGO

This was a favorite with my kids last conference. Probably because they got candy as game pieces. Ha!

This folder has four different arrangements. Download HERE.

SUGAR CUBE TEMPLES

This conference the kids will also have sugar cubes to build temples. It's a new activity - one I've seen before but we've never done. I'm hoping more go on the temple than into little mouths - that would make them sick quick! 

Photo Credit : Our Family Blog

Anxiety

When KC was growing up he was sure that he wanted to be an orthopedic surgeon. As he started medical school he still felt that that was the dream. When he began studying Psychiatry as part of his medical school learning, he fell in love. He was incredibly hesitant at first because there is a stigma surrounding mental health. When he told me that he wanted to learn more and possibly pursue a residency in Psychiatry I felt similar critical sentiments - why do you want to waste your medical school training? You wouldn't even be using your medical tools or picking up a stethoscope ever again. You did all this to become a therapist? (Which, for the record, psychology and psychiatry ARE two different things.) Those were feelings I had to work through myself - and ultimately I have always felt strongly that he should do what he loves and is passionate about. So that's the path he and we have taken. As he goes to his work now in residency, I love watching him come home in the evening. He loves going to work every day. He is growing, he is learning, and he is excited to do it. This is his calling.

I don't know whether to call it poetic, but almost a year and a half ago I myself was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I have often felt incredibly guilty for KC because not only does he deal with this at work, but then has to come home and deal with it here as well. I couldn't be luckier to have a husband who loves me beyond what I think I understand and is so patient in my worst times.

For the last few months my anxiety hasn't been well controlled, the last few weeks being the worst. Since being diagnosed with GAD I have really come to realize how many people don't understand what living with anxiety is like. There is a marked difference between having normal anxiety and having anxiety clinically.

I am now coming to terms with that I may have GAD for the rest of my life. When I was diagnosed and treated with a thyroid disorder in my youth, I had no problems taking a pill every day for the rest of my life. But this has been different. Perhaps it is my own pride. When my thyroid isn't under control I don't feel the effects as much as I do when my anxiety isn't controlled. I really do sometimes hate having GAD because the emotional effects can be harder than physical ones.

So what is it like, to have clinical anxiety? I think the best description is tense and tiring. My body carries tension, especially my jaw, which has led to teeth grinding issues. Repetitive thoughts take hold all day long. Sometimes these thoughts are irrational. And in the back of your mind you know it's irrational, but you can't stop thinking about it, even though you know you should. (This is why you can't tell someone with anxiety to "just snap out of it". They want to. But they literally can't.) So you can spend the whole day thinking and with tension in your body until at night, you are exhausted. But then you can't fall asleep because of the thoughts swirling around in your head. It can be pretty easy to get into a downward spiral - especially if the irrational thoughts are self deprecating ones.

Everyone has moments of anxiety. But when it began to interfere with my ability to complete daily activities and interact with others in a usual manner, that's how I knew I needed help.

So why am I sharing this now? I don't know. I just feel like it's important to break barriers and be heard. Although mental health stigma is getting better, there is still a lot of it out there. So many people actually have mental illness, but you would never know it because from the outside they seem to be functioning just fine. But mental illness is just as real as any other illness that you CAN see from the outside.  If those who suffer are like me, there is still a bit of fear to share because you don't want to appear as weak or unusual.

I may find myself being more open and sharing my experiences with GAD in the blog in the future. If you have any questions about it feel free to ask!

God is Not Here

This year, our church has made some big changes. We used to go to church for 3 hours on Sundays. They have now consolidated the time to 2 hours. However, there is a new curriculum they have introduced called "Come Follow Me". Each family or individual is given a manual which is a guide on what can/should be studied within a calendar week. The lessons given on Sundays in church also correspond with those studies to create a rounded experience. The goal is to bring our discipleship into a home based, church supported one rather than one in which we rely on our church time to fulfill our spiritual needs for the entire week.

I was incredibly gung-ho about the new curriculum and was so excited to start it. I looked forward to becoming more like my Savior - and a much better disciple of him. I looked forward to including my children in the curriculum and doing nightly scripture study and gospel discussion. I did great for the first week in January. I have done horribly since then - next to nothing. Over the last week or so I have really noticed my ability to feel the spirit starting to slip. It was not hard to see that it was because I wasn't doing what I should be doing, even some of those small daily things such as prayer.

This morning as I knelt at my bedside for the first time in a few weeks, my daughter came in to get ready. The following conversation occurred:

"What are you doing?" She asked quizzically.
I answered "I'm praying."
She said "But God isn't here."

I cannot lie. My heart sank at her answer. My most treasured possession is the gospel of Jesus Christ. It has taken me on the paths I have gone on in my life. It has shaped me into who I am today. More than anything I would love to share with my children His love and help them understand His plan for them so they will know this for themselves. In that moment I really felt like I was failing.

On the other hand I also felt guilty for how long it had been since I had spoken to my Father in Heaven. Does he listen? Does he care? Even when I have treated Him like I don't care? I am so grateful to know without a doubt in my heart that He DOES care. That He will ALWAYS care. That no matter how far off the path I've gotten, the moment I turn back, He's there, waiting for me.

In 3 separate instances in Isaiah, the words are spoken, "For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still." (See Isaiah 5:25, 9:21, and 10:4)

My children don't always make the choices I want them to make. And sometimes it is frustrating. But my love never dissipates. As soon as they are ready, I'm there with a snuggle and a kiss and advice on how we can handle things better next time.

How grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who does the same. Who loves me with more love than I can comprehend, even when I continue to stray off the path.

This morning after my daughter's comment, I knew it was a teaching moment. The conversation continued:

"Sweetie, Heavenly Father is everywhere. All the time."
"But He's in heaven"
"Right. But He still hears us no matter where we are, no matter what time it is."
"Even in Africa?"
"Yes, even in Africa"

A Child's Prayer (vs. 2)
"Pray, He is there. Speak. He is listening. You are His child. His love now surrounds you.
He hears your prayer. He loves [His] children. Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven."